EMAILS FROM MY MOTHER

Yesterday after feeling a little badly that I had not let my mother in on my preliminary planning for my wedding, and I hadn't even shown her what colors I'd picked out, I forwarded her the layout of the invitations and RSVP card my very talented fiancee has been working on.

To preface: My mother and father are divorcing after 40 years of marriage. The divorce should have happened 20 years ago.

There is a long history one can go through; It's not like you have to be M. Knight to see this coming. My father had left my mom at least twice before, that I can remember. There were signs that perhaps one person in the relationship wasn't as committed as the other; my father took his wedding ring off ten years ago. There were problems with communication; my mother would call me to ask me to tell my father to make a doctor's appointment.

Point is- DYSFUNCTIONAL-- read the signs. My mother is no M. Knight, but it didn't take a genius to see what was going on.

But I digress- this is about MY WEDDING, RIGHT?
Exactly- So I sent my mother the layout of our wedding invitations. This is an opportunity for her to not reference her marriage or herself, which she has done in every phone call and conversation for 15 months.

This is her response.
X, it is great. So is one to go out now, or are they in competition with each other? Ironically that is the exact same time and day that Daddy and I got married-so that makes me feel good. No, that is not a bad omen! We did have some wonderful years and YOU. love MOM

Because on my MOCK layout we said 2Pm and we have booked a site on a Sunday, THIS is the irony my mom uses to somehow again, talk about herself.

I don't want anything said about my impending nuptials to a guy that I believe is my soul mate, and who we both continue to work very hard at being our own people, while sharing our lives with one another- I do not want my relationship spoken about in any reference to a marriage where my mother has said, "I sort of knew that I loved your father more than he loved me, even before we got married."

I mean is it really too much to ask? Just don't talk about you, for one moment?